Gracias Por Venir

There are fewer things more humbling than seeing a 99 year old man cry at the realization that the person he loved most for the last 70 years is gone forever.  No tears fell from his weak eyes during the Wake, Mass, Prayer, or Funeral.  It wasn't until me and my brother said goodbye to him Tuesday afternoon as we were getting ready to head to the airport to return to our respective cities that the pain came through. 

After sitting w/ him and hearing about his first jobs when he moved to the United States from Cuba, sometime in the 1960's when he was in his late 40's, he got up off the couch and returned to us holding a plastic bag w/ a Mango and Papaya inside.  He was thorough in his instructions to me and and my brother on how and when to eat the fruits, insisting that we do not let the Mango go to waste by not eating it that same day.  He was not privy to the fact that we could not take the fruits through airport security.  With our gifts in hand, and hugs and well wishes already taken place, his view of his role as grandfather faded away as he couldn't fight away the rush of pain that submerged his next words, "Gracias por venir".  At once my heart felt like it wouldn't hold up against the weight of a sheet of paper.  The love of his life, my grandmother, was forever gone. 

I suspect that in here lies a depth of love that few have reached on Earth.  It isn't necessarily a single great act of courage or selfless sacrifice, but the culmination of a two lives joined together for a length in years that most would never even see on their own.

Many special memories from that funeral will take precedence in my thoughts even as I reminisce about her during her living years.  One of her brothers, already old and tired, first in line to help carry the casket out from the hearse.  He conceded the position when he was told that the six grand sons would honor her.  Then later, that same brother giving the casket a quick kiss just before it was raised to its spot on the wall.  I'll remember the fist-sized rose that was given to my grandfather from the many that lined the front of the casket.  A beautifully touching symbol as her name was Rosa. 

I am now back in my hometown, w/ a sober truth fresh on my mind:  I now have only one living grandparent, who is scratching at the surface of eternity.

Greatness...

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit" -Aristotle


I need to practice excellence. It is way too easy for me to fool myself into thinking that "good enough" is good enough, and underachieving has been my friend for many years.

Apathy has never bred greatness. Mediocrity has never captured an audience.

I want to be great. I want my effort to be great. I believe every man has a desire to put his mark on this world. Call it pride or an illusion of grandeur if you must, but nonetheless, we are fashioned to be like our maker. To create, inspire, define, transform, love, and excel. There is a constant battle in man's heart that cries out "I am not A drop in a bucket. I am The drop in a bucket". This is true of my desire. I want to be a man of value, not simply because of my identity in Christ (which is critically important), but because of the quality of my character, the magnitude of my actions, and the scope of my love. I believe these things are not too much to ask of oneself. Habits of excellence must be built.

Oh My...

It is times like these that make me wonder about my life. It can be said that life in general consists of circumstances; instances that move you in different directions causing you to react to situations that arise as they come, and thus your life is the process and/or the outcome of these circumstances. Attitude can come into play as well, giving some form of meaning and purpose to your reactions to the situations that occur.

So many times we see people in the most lowly of circumstances still remain mentally and emotionally intact. At the opposite end of the equation there are people with all the means in the world at their disposal, but who can not even hold it together on the inside. Obviously, happiness does not belong solely to the "successful".

I am in no way at either extreme, but life still affects me with its unpredictability.

At ever turn, there is a lion, tiger, or bear waiting to devour us. We are fools to believe that we can find a road devoid of such stern opposition. No amount of planning, preparation, or even prayer can keep our way completely clear of obstacles. Along this pathway of predators, eventually a Goliath comes out to do battle with us. The taunts, impressive size, and overwhelming presence of our Goliath are construed to paralyze us.

I believe life, as the creator meant it to be, is lived in these moments. Any man can be strong when the path is clear and laid with even brick, but real character comes IN the trials. When the Lion roars, no fear is in his heart. When the Tiger prowls, hope is in abundance in his mind. When the Bear closes in, his feet stand firm. And when the Goliath steps forward, he is swift to meet him with strength that comes from God.

Let us not fool ourselves. Nothing can be said for certain about the future. So take heart in knowing that Christ has overcame, and set your eyes on Him, and let your attitude reflect the hope of glory we have for the day of redemption.

Deep calls to deep

I just finished getting some prayer time in. It was short, but i really felt like I laid it out. Recently, I have been very conflicted about what to ask for in prayer. I want to make sure I am not praying against God's best for my life. This morning though, i just decided to pray with only my heart, and not let my reservations get involved. It was very real.

As i have said before, i believe God is vehemently excited about his children, and giving them their hearts' desires. So, with my heart bursting with supplications and thankfulness, I raised the voice of my soul to heaven.

I encourage everyone to approach God in prayer in a similar way. Let loose, speak to him directly from your heart. I know many of you anti-heart Christians will say, "what about Jeremiah 17:9..The Heart is deceitful above all things..." to you I say, Jeremiah 17:10- "I the Lord examine the heart and mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve".

God is constantly looking into our hearts. Let us then raise the real cries of our hearts to Him, opening up the lines of communication, so that he may speak to us directly through our honest longings. That God may rejoice with us as we begin to truly yearn for the same things he yearns for. Even more, that we may be given the desires of our hearts because He is a good father, and we are his loving sons and daughters.

Psalms 42:7 -

"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me"

....

Busyness has consumed my life. Not ideal, but not idle.

The Power

I believe our true hindrance in prayer is not that we are reluctant to believe it actually works, but that God will answer us out of his holy domain and give us the desires of our hearts. That is kinda scary. If you have ever prayed for patience or character you know what i am talking about. Sometimes we are afraid to ask for what we want because we think God will answer us but not in the way we want. The phrase "be careful what you wish for" comes to mind.

How foolish are we? God, who did not even spare his own son for us, is not trying to spite us. Oh, how we must break his heart when we don't immediately run to him with our needs and wants? He gave us salvation! He did so with immense joy. His passion was beyond any understanding! Our God delights in giving.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." - Zeph. 3:17

God is rejoicing over you and me. Get used to it. Pray with that in mind.

Prayer is the most powerful weapon in the world. No atomic bomb can influence any dynamic in eternity. Yet prayer fueled by the faith the size of a mustard seed can uproot a mountain and throw it in the sea. Prayer from a righteous man can cause the creator of the universe to turn an attentive ear towards any supplication. Let us devote ourselves to prayer, not because it is what Christians do, but because God is delighted in us. Because God is rejoicing over us. Because God answers us.

Let us live our lives during the intermissions of our prayers. May God reveal to you his heart, as you reveal yours to him.

My heart is broken for those in Haiti who have been devastated by the earthquake. Please continue to pray for those struggling to survive, and those who are giving them aid. Much work needs to be done and the worst of it is not over. Disease and poverty will continue its rampage well after the last tremor was felt. Families destroyed, friends gone.

Donate whatever you can, and keep them constantly in your prayers.

Let Psalms 68 be true!

:5-A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

:20- Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.

:35-You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!

God show mercy to all your children. The Haitian population is needy for you, come fill the void that only you can fill. We are all needy for you. Give us more of your spirit. Let us glorify your name despite calamity. Praise will not be sung by the trees or the rocks in Haiti, for you have ordained worship to come from the lips of your children. You are Holy.